Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Review by Sombrero Grande

Bruce McCulloch may have been occasionally funny as a member of The Kids in the Hall, but as a director he’s a completely inept cretin. What else has he directed besides this piece of shit? Do the titles Dog Park or Stealing Harvard ring a bell? No? Well, there’s a reason. They were in and out of theaters so fast that it’s as though they were never released at all. Oh, if only Superstar had never been released at all.

I’ll make this quick, seeing as how recalling any bit of this movie makes me want to hit someone. I’ve never understood the appeal of Molly Shannon’s repulsive Catholic schoolgirl character, Mary Katherine Gallagher, whose “funniest” bits include sniffing her armpits and quoting made-for-TV movies. Lorne Michaels deserves a swift kick to the groin with a steel-toed boot for not only making Shannon’s creation a returning character on SNL, but for ever allowing it onto the big screen.

I can’t seriously believe that anyone could find anything honestly humorous in this movie. Even the parodies within the film, which one could expect to be a no-brainer for at least a chuckle, are very poorly handled comedically. Mary gets a bucket of pigs’ blood dumped on her at one point…only to have the girl who did it then point out as though speaking to an audience of vegetables that it was “just like in Carrie.” Oh, okay, thanks. NOW I get it.

Speaking of blood and humor, the scene where blood squirted like ketchup from Mary’s parents as they gruesomely died was particularly funny…only if you define the word “funny” as revolting, repellent, disturbing, offensive and imbecilic. Apparently, Bruce McCulloch does…in that case, Mr. McCulloch, you’re a very, very, very, very “funny” director. How you manage to keep finding directorial work in Hollywood is giving atheists everywhere much support in their beliefs.


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